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It was either fall off a wall or be torn apart from the inside by a gargantuan baby chicken. Either way, Humpty Dumpty’s end was going to be tragic.
People who live in glass houses should not throw stones. They should also not throw laser tag tournaments. Or surprise birthday parties.
When I have to try to explain the computer to my grandparents, I try to remember that this is exactly what I’ll be doing with my grandkids when they can’t figure out where to plug themselves in.
Some disorders become neutralized when you add another disorder. Narcolepsy added to sleep-walking becomes consistent exercise with no effort.
As it turns out, I only thought I was a hypochondriac.
As it turns out, I only thought I was a hypochondriac.
If you’re going bald, you should wear a bald wig over your toupee with another toupee on top of it. That way if someone accidentally knocks the toupee off, you can say “Oh, don’t worry. That baldness is fake too.” And then you can pull off the bald wig and everyone will be relieved to have avoided an awkward moment.